When I was a kid my mother was always insisting that whenever I interact with people, I use two phrases always …..’thank you sir & if you please’. I had taken them to heart and it is something that I have used with everyone from bell boys to CEOs and the guys who serve me coffee in front of the CEO when we meet.
In the US people will be celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend and I would also like to thank my readers and especially those who follow my blog. I know you’ll have a lot of options and limited time, so the fact that you share that time on my blogs is very critical to me. I hope I live up to your expectations.
My mother was a very intelligent lady, but I am not sure if she knew the impact those two statements have on us, when we speak them from a neuro science perspective. When in a state of gratitude / thanks keeps you happy. When you are in that state, you can’t be having negative thoughts because in a state of gratitude your brain feels safe. It doesn’t have survival at stake.
With the second phrase, by saying please you do two things. One you don’t let your brain bring your ego into the picture. Also the moment you say please, the other person’s guard is also let down, because you are requesting not ordering.
In today’s world our egos have become so fragile that we get into a rage at the slightest indication of someone even making a statement let alone ordering us. So when we start with ….can you please, if you can please….you are also helping the other person relax and listen to your request. She still may say no. But because she is relaxed she will not react in defensive manner.
By being in gratitude and saying thanks many times a day and requesting versus ordering also keeps you happy. So thank you all .
Enjoy your Thanksgiving.
Till next time then.
This post will move in two directions. I have been seeing an advertisement on television where there’s a philosophical point being made by the protagonist about wanting money under any circumstance to enjoy life and her husband talking that money is not the only thing in life.
Its something similar to “money can’t buy happiness” or “money is the root of all evils”. Like I mentioned earlier these are philosophical points with no end to debates especially in countries like ours where over the last 75 years people have seen massive poverty and are only now coming out of it.
Good Health and Happiness are very closely related. If you’re happy, you will generally be in better health and will fall sick less often. I have written multiple times earlier also that Happiness is not the destination, its the journey. We should be enjoying the journey and be happy.
Recently I was reading a book Gap and Gain by Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. In this book Ben talks about how long term toxic stress and unhappiness can cause your lifespan to reduce dramatically. He’s given examples of various studies to showcase this. They also mention how people with less toxic stress are able to fight infections better and stay healthy longer.
While not all causes of toxic stress are related to money, in a lot of cases , the lack of money causes discontent which leads to toxic stress. One of the primary reasons for divorce is also lack of Enough money, the operating word being enough, which is subjective for different people.
So while “money can’t buy happiness ” its the next best thing, because it can help keep a lot of the stress causing items at bay. So if you have money to ensure that your basic needs are met and you don’t have to struggle for the basic things in life, then you have less reasons to be unhappy. There will always be some people who will find reasons to be unhappy, but that’s another story.
When I write about financial freedom or financial independence I write from the perspective that you should have enough money so that your basic needs are met and that you don’t have to be a slave of money.
Till next time then….make money work for you and get financial independence.
I have always had this opinion that you need to get new experiences and expand your mind. Once your mind expands, it does not go back to its old state.
Do you even remember that you used to crawl once upon a time. Today you will actually find it very difficult to crawl. But there was a time when walking was a dream, but when you learnt how to balance on your two feet, you quickly forgot what it was to be on your knees and hands crawling. That was because once your brain gets new experiences it expands its ability and tends to forget the old ones.
I got this ability to think for getting new experiences from my father. He was of the view that saving money for itself had no significance if you didn’t get new experiences. New experiences also make you happier and give you a feeling of abundance.
While some experiences you can get without spending too much money, for most of them you need to have the financial backing. That’s where investing helps. After a certain period of time, when the magic of compounding starts to come into play, you need to take out money to sponsor these experiences.
Once the mind starts expanding it also gets the ability to think better. Then you are also in a position to think how you can increase your income further and invest more to earn even more and expand your mind even further. This becomes a virtuous cycle.
Till next time then.
I love wide open spaces, I love man-made unique architectures and I love to watch scenic places with wild life.
So going to Interlaken in Switzerland and watching the snow clad mountains or going to the Niagara falls and watch the water fall while drinking hot coffee from Tim Hortons or taking a cruise on the Seine River or watching the aeroplanes land and take off from Delhi Airport, are things which fascinate me and make me feel happy and enlightened. After a visit to these kind of places I feel rejuvenated and more in flow with life and better focused.
Some of these kind of sights I have not had an opportunity to go and see for myself , especially since the last 18 months. So I watch videos on YouTube. I still get a similar pleasure.
So why should you bother about it.
I used to think that the pleasure of seeing these kind of sights is my personal taste.
However it seems the brain has a special network which is tuned to pick up novelty and unpredictable situations. Its called the salience network. While the definition of novelty could vary between person to person, the fact that this network exists -as per Steven Kotler- and is the cause of the rush of dopamine, is good news. If you read his book The Art of Impossible, you will realize dopamine is one of the most potent neuro chemicals.
It means that when you are feeling low or the whole world seems to be sitting on your shoulders, you can change your mood by looking for things which are novel to you.
Till next time then.