Have you clearly identified what are the parameters based on which you will be able to say that I am successful.
For some it could be a house, for some it could be travel to foreign land. For some it could be aspirational – as in – not having to go about life against a clock – its for me – though I haven’t been able to achieve it yet.
I used to have and still have this problem, that my line for defining success keeps changing on a lot of parameters. Which is where my problems start. Due to this I feel inadequate sometimes with respect to people who have more material things than me and keeping up with the Joneses becomes a problem.
On a lot of things, I think I have achieved success when I look back. Where I have come from, there’s a reason to smile. But when I keep looking at the ever moving horizon as I move forward, it does get me a little introspective and low. That’s when I follow Dan Sullivan’s advice – always look back at where you started from and how much you have covered, rather than thinking about what you have not covered. Then make a plan and take action for the next steps.
But defining what success means for you can actually help you in prioritising your life better. I had these visions of taking my family to certain countries on a vacation. Due to that I took a lot of decisions, where I had to hold back on spending on some items which were not aligned with this criteria.
Dean Jackson has actually designed his whole life around this principle. I am still a long way. But I would think you should also start defining what success would mean for you so that you know when you achieve it. Otherwise you will be running after the wrong things. Let me know what you think in the comments section below, would love to hear from you.
Till next time then.
I was watching a video on Netflix, The Call to Courage by author & researcher Brene Brown today afternoon. Its about 80 minutes long, but she keeps you engaged all through the eighty minutes. Her talk is about vulnerability, shame etc. and all its various connotations. I had read a lot about her books, when reading other authors, but never quite got to the stage a actually reading one of her books. Today while doing some research on her, I actually found this video on Netflix, so I decided to spend time watching it. it was time well spent. I would highly recommend watching it. I have downloaded it so that I can watch it a couple of times more.
While there are a lot of Aha moments in the video, one which kinda stuck with me is a statement she made – Success is all bout doing the hardworking and taking chances. You could fail, but its about getting down into the actual field and playing and then figuring out how to win. You can keep sitting in the stands and comment about how things should be, but its all about playing which decides if you have the chops to win.
You cannot lose any game that you don’t play. A lot of us, including me a lot many times, take the easy way out because our brain does not want us to lose. Its hardwired to protect us at all costs. So even failing in front of others is a major set back to our brain. I have written about this in multiple posts over the years. But she put a different perspective and therefore I am recommending, watching the video. It will be time well spent.
Most of the times its our brain, which is the actual culprit – because it doesn’t want us to take chances. When I was watching the video I could recollect so many situations, where I din’t take a chance and maybe things would have turned out to be different. But then that’s history….
Till next next time then…take your chances…don’t have regrets in your life.
I have this terrific ability to overthink. Over the years I have tried to get better by realising that my brain is going into rumination and bring it back into the present.
Actually because our brain is designed for survival as its basic function, it wants to conserve energy. Since it tries to conserve energy it gives you resistance to anything where it believes that it will need to do work.
So I used to and even now, many a times, create scenarios in my brain. I get an insight, a new idea….then my brain thinks “work” and it starts showing me all the different consequences. How it can fail, how I will not get any more such work etc. My brain also reminds me of all the previous experiments where things didn’t go as per plan so that I don’t go ahead with my idea and it does not have to perform work. It tries to install fear.
Have you also faced this kind of a situation with your brain throwing up various scenarios and getting you tense or worked-up.
So what I have started doing everyday, is identifying one activity which is giving me resistance. Once I identify it, I then go out and take one action step. Once I have taken this affirmative action, I get real world feedback. Somethings work out and some don’t. When things don’t, I try to figure out the possible course correction.
If things work out then my brain gets relaxed that there’s no danger and it starts supporting my next steps.Nobody knows the future. We only have the NOW. If there’s nothing else that you have clear about the problem you are facing, start with the first step in trying to solve the problem and then see how things work out.
I would love to hear your comments – if your brain also plays games with you and shows you all these dangerous scenarios.
Till next time then.